Awkward Bible Moments

I've been reading through the Old Testament and have been learning a lot. I know this is out of the ordinary from what I usually post but I've come across some very interesting bits in the Book of Second Samuel that I felt I just had to share.

Background: When Saul was being a bad king, Samuel anointed David to be king. David serves Saul for a while and even gives his daughter Michal to him in marriage. Cool stuff. Eventually, Saul becomes jealous and tried to kill David. Michal helps David to escape and live. While David's gone, Saul gives Michal to another man in marriage, and technically becomes David's ex-wife. Awkward.

Okay, Saul dies and David becomes King and marries several other women and somehow still remains Israel's "most eligible bachelor." One day he takes the ark of the covenant into the City of David, sacrifices accordingly, and begins dancing. 2 Samuel 6:14 actually says, "And David danced before the Lord with all his might. . . " which I actually think is a pretty cool verse. But who else is at this party but David's ex, Michal herself! In verse 16 she looks out a window and sees David "leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart." Awkward.

After a while Michal comes out to meet David and says in verse 20, ". . . How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!" Basically she saying, "Hey man, you're looking cool. NOT! Jerkface. You were totally dancing way more naked in front of those girls/groupies than you should've." How would you like it if your ex come up to you and said that? Awkward.

David, of course, shoots back and says in verse 21, "It was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house to appoint me ruler . . . over Israel . . . Therefore will I play before the Lord." Essentially, "Whatever. You don't know what you're talking about. I've got your dad's job now, so get outta my face." He goes on in verse 22 to say, "And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in min own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour." Or in other words, "You ain't seen nothing yet." Awkward.

I literally laughed out loud when I read the final verse: "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death." Of course! It seems so logical. I thought it was hilarious. Not sure if you all read it the same way that I do, or even if you thought this was funny, but whatever, I was in stitches.

By the way, "Dr. Awkward" is a palindrome.