Leaving California

Well, I've moved back up to school now, and am twisted with mixed emotions.

I love to travel. I love to pack up and go, but moving is much more different. Picking up everything and moving becomes the most stressful times in my life. I've been doing in constantly for the past five years and will continue to do it for a long while still.

Going home to California for the summer was exactly what I needed at the time. I had such a great time and unwound from a stressful semester (and year). My trepidations of returning home after a long time away evaporated when I made new friends and reunited with old. My desire to root myself in the area came in conflict with my knowledge that I'd be leaving at the end of summer.

At the same time I've got some exciting possibilities for this semester. I've got lotsa friends up here that I really wanted to see again. I'm learning something that I love. There are so many good things about this school.

I'm divided between wanting to stay home in California or going to school in Utah. I've got friends in both places and reasons to be in either place. This internal conflict is nothing new but presently stings more than usual.

I'll just have to keep busy.

Radiohead in Golden Gate Park

I've been looking forward to this concert since May when I bought my ticket. This was going to be my great way to end the summer. The Outside Lands Festival was also the first amplified concert at night in Golden Gate Park. A friend of mine and I decided to go together since we are both huge fans. I want to divide my comments and thoughts between sound engineer, musician and spectator. But before I do that, I want to gloat a bit. With a recent surgery I was able to get myself a handicap placard for my car. Not only can I park in handicap spaces, and metered parking (without paying), we got to park inside the park mere feet from the concert entrance as opposed to outside the park two miles away. Aw yeah.

Sound Engineer: This was my first concert where I decided to wear earplugs. At previous concerts I just bore the brunt of it, or left early when my ears started to feel it, or the concerts have never gotten loud enough to need them. I decided to buy some good ones this time and see how they fared. Finding the right position for them in my ear canal took some trial and error, but eventually I found the ideal to attenuate just enough sound without muffling it. As a result, after a full concert I had no ringing in my ears when I went to bed last night. None! And for those of you who don't know, that ringing in your ears is BAD, BAD NEWS. I met a man who had tinnitus by age 15, and has to deal with ringing ears the rest of his life. There's no cure or treatment. None. So protect your ears with GOOD ear plugs. Okay rant done.

I felt the mix had way too much bass and way too much kick. It's almost like they built the mix around the kick, which I don't understand, 'cause I build the mix around the vocals. The biggest disappointment though was when the audio failed, TWICE! Right in the middle of Airbag and All I Need. Needless to say we were all upset. At first, I thought "I understand this happens sometimes," but the second time I thought, "Ya know, we just don't tolerate failure in audio anymore." When the audio got cut out the monitors on stage were still working, and the cut was so clean (no pop or hiss) that it was probably a digital component that failed. The audio just failed going through the main house mix. Thom said something about how they didn't have much time to set up and apologized.

Musician: Something that was truly impressive was when the audio did fail the band kept playing like nothing happened (even thought they totally knew). Sound was gone for at least 30 seconds, but the band kept playing and getting through it. To me, that's what separates the good from the great. Lesser bands would have just stopped and waited for the problem to get fixed. But to keep playing, that takes guts.

The band performed up to standards and beyond. They did not disappoint when it comes to performing the best that they can. They also played some of the best songs in their catalog. Some highlights were "15 Step," "Airbag" (before the audio failed), "Nude," "Talk Show Host," "National Anthem," "Karma Police," "Just," and "Fake Plastic Trees." I was so excited to hear "Talk Show Host" not just cause it's one of my favorite songs but also because as far as I know they don't play it a lot. It was a really good performance of it too. For the entire set list go here.

One thing that I wish was different was how the band just went from song to song to song without talking much to the crowd. To me that's one of the things that makes a concert so special. It felt a bit too much like a jukebox. When the band started playing "You and Whose Army?" Thom started laughing and started messing around at the piano before starting again. With the camera right on his eye he started making faces and creeping us out. It was hilarious, and wish there was more of this throughout the concert.

Spectator: The biggest disappointment for me was how much pot there was. Now I know it's a hippie fest in Golden Gate Park and all, but my friend and I were both surprised at how much marijuana there was. Neither of us smoke so it was really uncomfortable for us. It wasn't just three or four people, it was literally everyone around us. We were both surprised at how indiscreet it was too, and WHO was lighting up (I swear, they could have passed as my grandparents). All we wanted to do was enjoy a Radiohead concert, not worrying about holding our breath waiting for the smoke to blow away (thankfully it was breezy). It seems so inconsiderate and rude.

The lighting was incredible. One of the best lit shows I've ever seen. It was so creative and simply remarkable. When the band concluded with "Everything in its Right Place" and left the stage it didn't feel over. Yeah, it was a two hour set, but it felt incomplete. I don't know. I was waiting for more. It was like there was no closure.

The biggest shocker was as we were walking away: the ground was covered with litter. This is Outside Lands, the whole point was to get out the message of global warming, recycling, composting, leaving smaller carbon footprints. With all this rhetoric about saving the earth it seemed so hypocritical to have so much trash on the ground. How bad was it? It was worse than litter left after a ball game. My friend and I don't exactly swallow the whole climate change pill (we're both skeptical of either sides), but we wouldn't even think about littering. It was a shock.

So, all in all, it was a good show in a crappy circumstance. I wanted to just pick up the show and drop it into a better place. I can't fault Radiohead at all. They were phenomenal. Everything else was a let down.

My Sister's Wedding

Yesterday my little sister got married. It was a big day with lotsa stress. She was married that morning and had the reception that evening. The weather was very pleasant. It's California, that's a given.

I have to say, the ceremony that morning was so beautiful it made the reception seem anti-climactic. I love her new husband. He's a great man and seeing him make her so happy is all I've really wanted for her. I'm glad I got to be there to watch them make promises to each other for eternity, not just till death. It was so beautiful. I wish them all the best.

The sad confession I make in all this is that I still haven't gotten them a wedding gift yet! I'm always late on stuff like this (I have a friend in England who still hasn't gotten one from me yet . . . It's on it's way mate!). I have a good idea on what to give them, but I have yet to make good on it. It's gotta be something personalized and awesome. Something they wont want to return. Ha Ha!

Standing on the edge . . .

Currently, I'm on the brink of something that's potentially very cool. I'm in the middle of writing two new pieces. Each of them is for a different type of ensemble and each of them has their own sound, color and tonal language. It's very exciting to go back and forth between the two and shift gears so dramatically. It's like speaking in Japanese and then suddenly in Swahili. Both pieces have multiple movements and

The main challenge right now is that one of the pieces is being written by stream of consciousness. I'm basically writing it as it comes; as it falls out of my head. I've got a general idea of the form, but the actual music is just coming in consecutive order. The second piece on the other hand is not so easy. I've already got the last movement composed in my head, and the second to last as not to far behind, but they're room for flexibility. The first and second movement are still very vague in my head. The transition between these movements are meant to be smooth and seamless. I'm worried that if I start dictating the last movements it might not match up with the first movements. I'm also worried that if I start writing the first two with this vague idea, it wont turn out as good as I'd hoped. I'm sure this makes no sense, but this is my dilemma. Exciting!

Anyway, should be fun to see what happens. I'll keep you posted. I noticed that I'm just writing mostly about my composing and not much about audio or my singing. Well, that'll come later I suppose.

Helping a Friend

Sometimes, life happens. Good and bad. We can't always foresee it, prevent it or anticipate it. It just happens, and it's a shock. None of us are exempt. Life just happens.

I've got a friend whose going through this right now. Only problem is, this friend is hundreds of miles away. I can't be there in person to help out. The only option I have is the phone and email. It's a huge limitation to what aid I can offer. In a way, I feel powerless.

This is a friend whose helped me many times in the past. This is what friends are for, to help when the other is down. I suppose I'll just have to do what I can with the phone.

Hang in there friend.